Balloons, Glitter, Mayhem!
by Miss Maggie
Summary: The Muppet Babies band together to throw a birthday party for Kurt. Things spiral wildly out of control from there. Written for YourFairyGodfather for the 2010 Artina Ficathon.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This is _not finished yet! _There'll be a second part posted _hopefully_ tomorrow or Monday. However, I wanted to get this story up for _YourFairyGodfather _before too much longer passed, being as its for the Artina ficathon and all. However, I've been traveling for about three days straight with remnants of the stubborn cold from earlier this week (four states, 1200 miles, yes I _am_ crazy), but this prompt hit me _hard _and I just couldn't stop writing.

Prompt: _ balloons, glitter, mayhem. Any genre or additional characters._

I hope you like it so far, prompter!

* * *

It started with a simple enough idea. Artie, Tina, and Mercedes were loitering in the choir room after school, even though they didn't have practice that day, and really, no reason to be there. They had always met there after school to gossip and socialize before heading their separate ways for home, and today was no exception.

Kurt had left their little group already for Cheerios practice. Never mind that Glee club had just been restored for another year, or that school let out for the summer in less than two week's time. Sue Sylvester was not about to let her Nationals winning Cheerios slack off, no way, no how. His absence, in hindsight, was probably how they had all managed to work their way around to the topic of Kurt's seventeenth birthday, which was apparently this Saturday.

"Really?" says Tina curiously. "I didn't know that's when Kurt's birthday was. He never really talks about it much."

Mercedes tucks a book into her bag and offers Tina a look. "I shouldn't be saying this, but…"

"Then don't?" suggests Artie, less than helpfully.

Both Tina and Mercedes glare at him, before Mercedes continues. "Kurt's mom died right around his birthday. Apparently he hasn't had a birthday party since he was seven."

"That sucks," says Tina, her hands already fidgeting with her arm warmers slightly. They relax when Artie reaches out to take her hand, and she squeezes gently.

Mercedes grins at the gesture. "Well, lovebirds, I think we should do something about it."

"What if Kurt doesn't want a party?" says Artie.

"Then we'll say it's a party to celebrate the fact that Glee's around for another year." Mercedes looks proud of herself. "And anyway, we'll pick a theme that he's bound to love. If he loves the theme, then the boy can't bear to say no."

"Lady Gaga?" suggests Tina. "He really liked Lady Gaga week."

"And Adam Lambert," adds Mercedes. "He's totally over the moon his dad managed to snag concert tickets for the summer tour. Adam Lambert meets Lady Gaga. He's gonna flip!"

Tina grins. "Balloons, glitter, and mayhem. I like it, Mercedes."

"I knew you would. But where are we going to have the party?" Mercedes pales. "My brother just got home from college for the summer, and his stuff is _everywhere_. I can't have anyone over!"

"Normally I'd say yes, but my parents are busy getting ready for my Great Aunt Millie's visit next week," says Tina sadly. "We're hosting the family reunion this year, and it's the week after school lets out. Things are a madhouse at home."

Artie holds his hands up in front of his face when both of the girls send him identical pleading looks. "You know how my mom is," he reminds them. "Besides, we don't have a big enough space at my house to comfortably everyone in Glee, let alone enough room for us to have a party there."

All three of them frown and the room settles into silence as they consider their next move.

"I like parties. They're very sparkly," says a slightly-confused voice from over Tina's shoulder.

Tina jumps up in her seat. "Gah!" she shrieks, looking back. "Oh, Brittany. Why aren't you at Cheerios practice?"

"I got lost." The blonde shrugs.

Mercedes shakes her head, but plows on. "Yeah, parties can be that, Brittany. We're planning something for Kurt's birthday. But we don't have a place for the party."

Brittany smiles. "I like parties. Have it at my house. The llama won't mind."

"The llama?" asks Tina.

"George likes parties." Brittany blinks, then grins brightly when she sees Santana enter the choir room. "Santana! We're having a party Saturday. Me and George are! I knew you'd find me."

Santana shrugs. "You want to have a party at your place? What kind of party, Brit?"

"A sparkly one." Brittany reaches out for her friend's hand. "With glitter."

"You want a sparkly party?" Santana raises an eyebrow, but takes Brittany's hand. "We'll talk about it after practice."

Mercedes quickly interjects with. "A birthday party for Kurt. Adam Lambert meets Lady Gaga."

"Ooh! George can wear his feather boa!" Brittany giggles.

Santana sneers at Mercedes, but sighs. "We've got practice Saturday, Brittany."

"After," says Tina squeakily. "It could be fun?"

Brittany nods her head up and down like a bobblehead. "And his glitterati shades! Kurt will be so impressed."

"Fine." Santana huffs as she stares down the other three people in the room. "You all are doing the prep, the planning, and the clean-up, got it?" She glares at Artie in particular.

Artie wisely keeps his mouth shut and nods an affirmative response. He doesn't let out the breath he's been holding until Santana and Brittany merrily skip off to practice.

"Just where does Brittany live?" he asks, finally. "Does she even know where she lives?"

"Across the street from the school," says Mercedes. "I had to help her home a few times after Cheerios practice. You and Tina could probably walk there from your neighborhood. It's the brick place on the corner lot."

Tina nods. "I like that house. So… Artie and I can do the party set up on Saturday afternoon if you're okay with being in charge of getting all the food ready?"

Mercedes grins and nods. "Me and Quinn will take care of getting the food. She's been a mess since she had the baby. This'll be good for her."

Tina reaches for a notebook to start jotting down their ideas. "And costumes, right? Kurt will be at practice. How will we get him to Brittany's?"

"Santana and Brittany will get Kurt over, I'm sure," says Artie. "And Mercedes, maybe you can pack some stuff for Kurt so that way, he can plan his own outfit when he arrives?"

"Sounds great." Tina scribbles the details down furiously. "Okay. I want a duct tape corset."

Artie pauses. "Er, say what?"

"A duct tape corset," repeats Tina. "I saw it on DeviantArt. I think I could make one in time for the party."

"That's …nice." Artie coughs, rubs his hastily-reddening neck, and turns to Mercedes.

Mercedes cackles and whistles. "You two are something else. Now, I gotta go ask my mom if she can make some of her famous homemade mac and cheese. And find my Gaga wig!" She grabs her backpack and strolls out the door with a wave.

Tina shrugs and exchanges a look with Artie. "Why are you so red?"

Artie coughs, and it sounds suspiciously like: _girlfriendinacorset. _

"On second thought, maybe I should just wear my Gaga dress again…" Tina looks embarrassed.

"Tee, you can't sit down in your Gaga dress," he points out.

"Oh. Point."

Artie shrugs. "And anyway, you're set, but what am I gonna wear?"

"I've got the perfect idea."

* * *

Tina arrives at Brittany's right after lunch on Saturday, dressed in cut-offs, a t-shirt, and barely able to see because of the pile of decorations in her arms. Artie is wheeling behind her, balancing a disco ball precariously in his lap.

Santana opens the door with a bored look. "Good. Brit and I need to go. Her parents are out and will be for the rest of the weekend. Anyway, the rec room's in the back of the house and whatever you do, don't touch the llama."

"The what?" Tina adjusts the pile of decorations with her chin and gives Santana a confused look.

"You heard me." Santana shrugs, links pinkies with Brittany and together they take off across the street to the high school for practice.

Tina nods, tries not to drop the decorations, and throws them haphazardly on the living room sofa before heading back to help Artie up the single step from the cement path into the living room. "A llama?" she says skeptically.

"Beats me." Artie shrugs one shoulder lazily and adjusts the disco ball in his lap. "How'd you manage to find this thing anyway, Tina?"

"My parents had it in the basement," she replies casually. "Apparently my mom turned her dorm room into a seventies-themed nightclub back during her college days."

"Sweet. So she let you—" Artie trails off as they enter the rec room, which is for the most part, filled with what one would expect, except for the life-sized stuffed llama in the corner near the television set.

They both stare at it, dumbstruck.

"So. Llama." Tina tentatively walks over and gently pokes it in the nose, then squeals. "Artie. That's not a plush llama. I think…. I think it's a real one."

"Like one that was like… alive?" Artie blinks, then points at a picture on the wall of Brittany, and a male who bears a more than uncanny resemblance to her. The frame reads _Taxidermist Of The Year 2008._

Tina follows Artie's gaze and pales. Seconds later, she's standing behind Artie's chair and shaking slightly.

"It's just a stuffed llama," says Artie carefully.

"Creepy," replies Tina. "Ew."

"You're scared of it?" he asks.

Tina blushes and ducks behind his chair. "I think it was staring at me."

Artie shakes his head. "Come on, Tee. It won't bite. I will, if you want?"

A giggle escapes. "Okay, maybe later. Help me throw copious amounts of glitter everywhere?"

"It is the STD of craft projects, after all." Artie nods and reaches for one of the extra-large bottles of glittery silly string they'd picked up at the party supply store that morning.

"Where on earth did you hear that?" asks Tina, her giggle turning into full-fledged laughter.

Artie shrugs and sprays the silly string at her. "Funny YouTube video."

Tina reaches for another can of silly string and aims for Artie's hair. "_Suuuuure._"

* * *

Tina pulls yet another strand of silly string out of her hair and sighs. "We had that fight three hours ago, and I'm still pulling this gunk out of my hair."

"Sorry?" says Artie, but he doesn't sound all that sorry. His wheelchair is leaving a suspicious trail of glitter in its wake as he wheels around the laminate floor of the rec room. Tina's helped him pick out dark jeans, a black dress shirt, a fedora, and sliver, glittery, sparkly suspenders to wear. (He _really_ likes how the suspenders reflect the light from the disco ball, and is wondering if he can maybe _accidently _blind Puck with them if he shows up tonight.)

"I can just _feel_ the sincerity in that apology from here," replies Tina sarcastically as she zips up her boots in the bathroom. She's tugging at her blouse and fidgeting with her duct-tape corset as she enters the rec room. "Be a sport and help tape me into this thing?"

"Me?" Artie squeaks.

Tina wags a roll of purple duct tape at him. "No, your evil twin Bartie. Yes, help me with this thing. Please."

Artie rolls his eyes and pats his lap. "Okay. Come here."

She nods and delicately perches on her boyfriend's knees.

"You won't break me, promise." He sighs and wraps an arm around her waist to pull her more securely into his lap, accidently grazing her breast in the process. His hand whips around to the arm rest as they both turn brilliant shades of red.

They both sit there in silence for a few minutes until Tina coughs. "My corset, Artie?"

"Oh right." He pulls off several strips of the purple duct tape, then carefully secures the tape in what he hopes is a close enough resemblance to the stripes of gray and purple tape already around Tina's torso.

When he's done, she hops up from his lap and kisses his cheek. "Thanks."

"No problem. Think we've got enough decorations?" he replies, with a wink.

Tina laughs. The rec room is covered from wall to floor with rainbow streamers, and confetti and glitter are tossed haphazardly on and around the table to one side, where the food will be placed. Balloons are dangling from the walls, along with the disco ball in all its glory. MTV is on the TV, with the volume low as a rerun of _The Hills_ plays. Music flows just as softly from the CD player they brought along, and overall, it looks sparkly enough to do both Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert proud.

Mercedes and Quinn stroll in a few minutes later. Quinn has recycled her ridiculous Lady Gaga eyelashes, but she's wearing them with a simple black sundress and a hot pink feather boa. Mercedes, as promised, is wearing her purple bow wig, which has been covered with glitter.

"Nice costumes," says Artie. "Where's the food?"

"My momma went overboard," groans Mercedes. "It's all in my car. Pigs in a blanket, mac and cheese, chocolate chip cookies, _and_ a fruit salad after I told her Rachel is a vegan."

"Wow," says Tina appreciatively. "Want me to help you bring it in?"

"What about the cake?" asks Artie. "We need a cake."

Mercedes pales. "Damn. I forgot. I'm sorry."

"We'll make do," says Quinn. She adjusts her boa and reaches for a bag near her feet. "We also have about twenty gallons of coke and diet coke. Is that the food table over there?"

Tina nods. By the time the food's set up, Brittany and Santana have returned. "Coach Sylvester asked to talk to Kurt after practice," says Santana. "He'll be here, though."

"I told him George missed him!" says Brittany proudly. She skips across the room and gives the stuffed llama the promised _gitterati _shades and a flower lei to wear. "There we go! He's ready."

"Her uncle's a taxidermist," replies Santana with a shrug before she and Brittany excuse themselves to go change into their party outfits.

Tina exchanges a confused look with Artie before the doorbell rings again. Finn arrives, looking sheepish and wearing what looks like something that was swiped from the costume stash used by the drama department for their spring production of _Midsummer Night's Dream._ (It was.)

Puck arrives two minutes after that, with a case of cheap (crappy) beer. He's not wearing a costume, but Santana and Quinn both manage to throw what's left of the glittery silly string at him anyway.

Mike arrives five minutes after that with a large bottle of rum (decent quality). He's managed to find a necklace made of peacock feathers, which he's wearing with his head-to-toe black ensemble.

Rachel flounces in on Mike's heels (literally), wearing the Gaga costume her mother made for her, carrying a balloon arrangement nearly as tall as her. ("_Seventeen _said that balloon arrangements were a perfect gift for any age!" )

Matt arrives a minute before Kurt does, wearing his shirt from the boys' KISS performance and sheepishly showing Mercedes his contribution to the party. It's a cake, obviously homemade, covered in white marshmallow frosting and that looks like the entire local grocer's supply of sprinkles, edible glitter, and confetti candy. _Happy Birthday Kurt!_ is printed in rainbow gel frosting.

"Did you make this yourself?" asks Mercedes, astounded.

Matt nods a nervous affirmative before Kurt is seen crossing the street. The cake is covered and set on the food table while everyone tries to duck under tables, behind sofas, and wherever they can find space.

Kurt knocks on Brittany's door. When no one answers, he tries the door handle. It's unlocked, and he peers into the dark house. "Hello?"

"_**SURPRISE!"**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **I forgot the Emmys were on last night. Guess who was nursing an allergic reaction to her new bath soap and watching that instead of updating? But here it is! Many thanks to the scattered handful of people who helped me work out a few kinks in the ending, and happy reading!

* * *

"So," says Kurt, as silence hangs in the air for a period of time bordering on uncomfortable, "this is all well and good. But what the hell am I going to wear?"

Mercedes swoops in and gathers her best friend by the hand. "We've got a whole mess of clothes in my trunk. Don't look at me like that, I was careful and oh fine, I'll drive you home so you can change into something truly fabulous, all right?"

Kurt brightens considerably and nods, practically leading her out of the room. "We'll be back in thirty—okay, an hour," huffs Mercedes over her shoulder. "Please don't do anything totally stupid!"

"That could have gone better," says Tina forlornly as Mercedes and Kurt head out the front door. "Do you think he liked it?"

"Kurt needs a minute to take it all in," says Artie carefully. "I'm sure he didn't hate it. But it's… we're… a lot, you know?"

Tina considers this and gives him a worried smile. "Okay. So… do we start this party or should we wait?"

Someone turns the disco ball on, and the music suddenly gets a whole lot louder, which makes it pretty clear that the party's going to happen, with or without the guest of honor. Artie shrugs over the sudden increase of noise and attempts to transfer himself to the sofa. Once he's settled, he pats the spot next to him. Tina shrugs and sits on Artie's lap instead.

He blushes, giving her a strange look. "Hi."

"You said I wouldn't break you," she points out. "And it's kinda nice."

"I'm not complaining."

Tina is wondering if it'd be too vulgar if she started kissing Artie right then and there on the sofa when Rachel suddenly appears in their line of vision, carrying three drinks and a huge grin on her face.

"Hey, Rachel." Tina pulls back from Artie with a sigh and accepts the red plastic cup that the other girl is waving in her face. "What's this?"

"Rum and coke!" she says brightly. "Noah made me one, and they are, surprisingly, very good. Try it."

Tina hesitantly sips at the drink, then offers Rachel a tiny smile as she sets the glass on the coffee table. "It's… good, Rachel."

Rachel beams and offers a second glass to Artie. "I also wanted to thank you for preparing this party this evening. I would have offered to be of assistance, had I known. Are you sure there isn't anything that I can do to be of help right now?"

Artie sets his drink aside without even touching it. "We're good, Rachel. Thanks for bringing the balloon thing."

"How did you manage to find so many?" asks Tina politely. She immediately bites her lip as the question sends Rachel into a frenzy as she begins to dictate how she went to exactly twelve stores in order to find the perfect number of balloons to make the most desirable arrangement possible.

"And then, do you think we could pay Pictionary?" asks Rachel nearly twenty minutes later (Artie and Tina have tried their best not to tune her out, but it isn't working).

"Berry!" snaps Santana as she hands the girl another drink. "It's not elementary school. You don't do shit like that at these parties."

Tina considers saying that yes, she'll play Pictionary with Rachel, if only to erase the kicked puppy look from her face. Fortunately, though, Kurt and Mercedes return, with Kurt clad in his most glittery, tightest, and of course, most sparkly best.

Rachel downs her new drink quickly and races up to give Kurt a hug. Kurt, understandably, is surprised, but smiles—even as he's giving Mercedes a _WTF _look from over Rachel's shoulder. Tina takes advantage of the distraction and starts kissing Artie, which he happily returns.

"To what do I owe that particular greeting, Rachel?" asks Kurt once he finally manages to get her to pull away.

"It's your birthday, and I thought such displays of affection were appropriate," replies Rachel. "Do you want your present?"

"Is it another one of those ridiculous balloon arrangements?"

Rachel quickly masks the hurt expression. "I thought that was a perfect decoration!"

Mercedes rolls her eyes. "It was a great centerpiece, Rachel. Kurt's just being snippy. What gives?"

"The balloons arrangement is indeed ridiculous," replies Kurt. "But given that there's also a stuffed llama wearing sunglasses and a lei in the corner as part of the decorations, I would think ridiculous was the theme of the day."

"It is Adam Lambert meets Lady Gaga!" supplies Rachel, her expression perking up considerably. "We should play some music!" She races over to the stereo, and soon "If I Had You" can be heard across the house.

"Nice," says Kurt approvingly. He turns to his best friend. "A dance, Mercedes?"

"Sure," she replies, linking arms with her friend and leading him out to the makeshift dance floor under the disco ball.

The party continues on without any further awkwardness, and when the cake is cut a little while later, a weight-conscious Kurt is compelled to take a slice once Matt quietly informs him that he used as many organic ingredients as he could possibly find to make the cake. Kurt beams and blows out all seventeen candles with a single breath.

"Should we separate the lovebirds to give them cake?" asks Quinn. Artie and Tina are still making out on the sofa, and his hand appears to have slid up her thigh dangerously high.

Mercedes snorts and pours herself another glass of soda. "Hell no. The less they drink means the less people I have to drive home at the end of night. Being appointed DD is a pain sometimes. Anyway, the smell will probably get them coming up for air eventually. Tina's never one to turn down a slice of cake. Especially damn good cake like this."

Quinn nods and reaches for plastic forks. "I'm not drinking, and neither are Matt or Kurt. Well, I think Kurt's only had one drink. It seems some of us have learned our lessons."

"Yeah, but the rest of the boys have just started in on a game of beer pong." Mercedes says, her gaze drifting across the room. "I didn't know you could _do_ that to a beer can."

Quinn smiles and starts delicately eating her sliver of cake. "You've had a pretty sheltered existence, Mercedes."

"I like to think I just enjoy being sober."

* * *

Around ten, Brittany starts dancing on top of the table, and she manages to get both Mike and Santana to join her as they begin hopping around to Lady Gaga's "Alejandro".

"_Don't call my name, Alejandro!"_ warbles Kurt from the floor as he attempts to paint Quinn's nails with sparkle polish.

Brittany grins and hops down from the table to twirl around Kurt and Quinn, and her infectious enthusiasm manages to get Finn around the room with her in a circle. She doesn't even bat an eye when Finn steps on her toes, instead taking lead and turning them both in the opposite direction.

"Dance with me!" she says excitedly, dragging Kurt up so he can be her new partner after Finn manages to escape the bubbly blonde's grasp. Rachel giddily cozies up to Finn as she jabbers on about how this is so much better than the last party she went to.

Artie and Tina finally manage to separate themselves with Puck hands Artie a pair of scissors and a lewd wink. They spring apart to other sides of the sofa, both blushing furiously and frantically attempting to fix rumpled clothes. The duct tape corset is, remarkably, still intact.

Artie thinks this might be a great time to get cake, after he downs the better part of his previously untouched drink in one nervous gulp. He looks around for his chair in order to do that, and finds that it isn't there. "Hey?" he says, confused, "Where's my chair?"

"I think it's on the other side of the room," replies Tina after a minute. "I'll go get it." She springs up from the sofa, and wheels the chair over with the utmost care.

It's Artie's wheelchair all right, but it's covered in streamers, more glitter, balloons and what looks to be confetti. There's a pile of crushed beer cans in the seat, and an even more pronounced trail of glitter follows the chair across the room as Tina leads it to the sofa. (Artie will be trailing glitter in his wake for the rest of the school year.)

"What happened to it?" says Artie finally, after several minutes of stunned silence.

"Do you like it?" asks Mike Chang as he strolls across the room in search of the buffet table. "There was an episode of _Pimp My Ride_ on the TV and Puck wanted to experiment. Dude says your suspenders blinded him and you said it was okay."

"I did?" Artie thinks back over the past several hours as well as he can. He remembers giving a strangled yes when Tina had asked if she could unbutton his shirt… _oh. _Artie blushes. "I guess I did. Kind of."

Tina's face is a matching shade of red, and she quickly springs up to get slices of cake for her and Artie in an attempt to flee the situation.

Mike chuckles and waves Artie off before continuing his trek to the food. "Whatever, dude. Way worse things have happened at parties like these before. You'd be better off finding someplace more private next time, though."

"Er, yeah." Artie rubs his neck nervously and lets out a sigh of relief when Mike leaves him alone finally.

Tina returns with two large slices of cake and a plate of food. "I thought it might be good if we like, ate something?" she says meekly. "You know, since we've both had a little to drink and all."

"Good idea." Artie grins at her and reaches for a cookie. It happens to be the same cookie that Tina was considering, and their hands bump against each other. There's more nervous blushing and awkward giggling.

"We're hopeless." Tina rolls her eyes, but smiles and starts eating. "Do you think the party turned out okay, Artie?"

George the stuffed llama strolls by them before Artie can reply, now wearing a matching hula skirt to go with his lei and sunglasses. Finn gives them both an awkward wave, then coughs and points to Artie's neck before continuing on.

"I think I might've given you a hickey," replies Tina in response to Artie's blank expression.

"Oh." Artie buttons up the rest of his shirt, but pauses when he realizes a few of the buttons have been forcibly ripped off. "I think you broke my shirt, woman."

"Are you complaining?" says Tina as she reaches for a piece of the cake. "Because really, you sure weren't at the time."

"Nope." Artie gives her a cheeky grin and stuffs a whole pig in the blanket his mouth.

"Artie, that is so gross."

"Mffff."

* * *

At eleven, Brittany and Santana disappear off to Brittany's room. They're not heard from for the rest of the night, and absolutely no one is surprised.

Soon after their disappearance, Rachel attempts to get everyone still in the rec room to start singing along with some of their Glee numbers before they present Kurt with the rest of his birthday presents.

"I don't wanna sing, Rachel!" says Mercedes from the corner, where she's having a quiet conversation with Matt. "Not tonight, at least. Besides, nearly everyone's mad drunk. We'd sound all outta whack."

Rachel shrugs. "Well, could we play Pictionary? We still have enough people and Santana isn't here to veto the suggestion as she tried to do before."

"That's not such a good idea either," says Mike from Rachel's other side. "Because…"

"Because it isn't one of those kinds of parties, Berry," says Puck loudly. "When was the last time you were invited to a party? Fifth grade?"

Rachel closes her mouth and glares at Puck while moving to sit on the other side of Finn. "Do you want to play?" she asks him sweetly.

"Why don't we just do presents?" suggests Artie quickly, earning a grateful look from Finn (who has no idea what Pictionary even means). "We haven't done presents yet!"

"Oh! Presents are indeed very important," says Rachel. "I assume people brought appropriate tokens?"

Tina nods and reaches for an envelope for Kurt. "Artie and I got you a gift card to Nordstrom's. It has the kind of clothes you like, right?"

Kurt nods and adjusts his hair ever so slightly. "Thank you."

Quinn hands over a wrapped travel set of Kurt's favorite brand of skincare products, and Matt and Mike hastily present Kurt with a Costco-sized bag of his favorite brand of organic snacks (which Mercedes tipped them off about after they came to her in a frenzy the other day).

Rachel beams at Kurt. "Finn and I chipped in to get you a ticket for _Wicked. _Its tour comes through Akron in September, and it seemed appropriate to enable you to attend. My two gay dads and I will be attending, of course, and you may carpool with us if you think it would be amicable."

Kurt is genuinely touched. "That's really nice of you, Rachel."

"Appropriate presents are always nice," she replies happily.

Mercedes elbows her best friend in the side. "Don't tell me you're gonna start bawling because of present that Rachel Berry got you for your birthday."

"Depends," says Kurt easily. "What'd you get me?"

"Spa day at Chez Jones, courtesy of me and my mom," she replies. "It's not _Wicked,_ but I figured you like it."

"I do." Kurt leans over to kiss her cheek. "Thanks, Mercedes."

"I guess that just leaves Puck," says Tina after a moment. Nine sets of eyes scan the room for any sign of the formerly mohawked-boy.

He's busy taking questionable photographs with George the llama.

"I think that answers that," says Kurt, his expression as composed as always. "Tell me, is that llama wearing underwear?"

Sure enough, a pair of boxers are now affixed on George's head like a hat. They're even tipped at a jaunty angle for a fashionable effect.

"I have no idea." Artie shrugs and exchanges a glance with Tina, who is taking pictures of Puck and the llama (for future blackmail purposes, of course). "I'm not sure I really want to know, either."

"I definitely don't," says Quinn. "And in any case, there's more important stuff to worry about. Who needs a ride home. The boys, for the most part. Any of the girls?"

"Artie and I will walk home," says Tina quickly. "We don't live that far away."

"She'll walk, I'll roll," corrects Artie with a cheeky grin as Tina nudges him playfully in the side with her hand.

"Yeah, whatever." Mercedes starts rustling around for keys. "This has been some party, guys."

Tina winces as she flops onto the sofa and surveys Brittany's house. Cans and bottles litter the floor as the disco ball and the strobe lights flicker overhead. She knows there's going to be no end to the explanations required when the photos inevitably show up on Facebook in the morning. She doesn't even want to _think _about cleaning this mess up.

"Hey," says Artie, interrupting Tina's thoughts (and derailing the worry for a few moments), "Is that Brittany's wheelchair rolling by?"

"I guess it got un-lost."


End file.
